Here you go, Thomas. Try that.
Amazing.
It tastes just like water.
That's because it is water...
100% safe drinking water from the dew
I collected this morning.
You can last for months with
just the knowledge I've shared today.
Bravo!
All right.
Is it really pure dew?
Sure is. Here.
Let me show you my system.
Can you guys keep it down?
All this pure-dew talk is blowing my fo...
Ha ha! Wh-o-o-o-oa!
Good game, dude. Good game.
Guys, can you come here for a second?
Ah, sweet.
Benson's presentation's over.
Look out, face.
It's time to shove some burgers in your mouth.
Yeah, watch out, buns,
'cause you're about to get some patties up in you.
Hey, guys.
Thanks a lot for coming to this.
I know my wilderness-survival presentations aren't how you'd
normally choose to spend your time off.
Sure, Benson. No problem.
Great.
So, if you can just bring over the tortillas,
I'll get started on the food.
No offense, but you don't make burgers with tortillas.
Wait.
Are you telling me that you didn't bring the tortillas?
Why would we bring tortillas for burgers?
Because we're not having burgers.
We're having quesadillas.
Aw, what?
We only came to this thing for the burgers at the end.
Yeah.
Why didn't you tell us we were having quesadillas this time?
I did tell you...
over and over.
I said, "We're having quesadillas this time."
Don't forget we're having quesadillas this time,
so if you can pick up the tortillas,
I'd really appreciate it.
No problem.
Hey, guys.
You're gonna pick up the tortillas
for the quesadillas, right?
Oh, yes!
Great. Thank you.
Since you guys are headed out anyway,
this might be a good time to get those tortillas.
What did he say?
I think, uh, "Have a good time"?
Maybe if you just reminded us one more...
I shouldn't have to remind you at all!
You two never listen to me, and I'm sick of it!
Don't be mad, Benson.
Mad?
I got mad the last time you ignored me.
This time, I'm... I'm deeply offended.
And now I have six pounds of cheese and not one tortilla.
What kind of quesadilla can you make with that, huh?
What kind?!
You can't make a quesadilla without tortillas.
That's just cheese.
Thank you, Skips.
So now, because of Mordecai and Rigby,
here we all are...
tired, hungry, nothing to eat.
And if you two don't get those tortillas right now,
you're fired!
Well, which ones are we supposed to get?
There's like 30 different kinds here.
How should I know?
Well, can you check?
It's a note from Benson.
"Dear Mordecai and Rigby, you're probably standing
there like two boneheads trying to figure out which of the
30 different kinds of tortillas to get."
How does he know?!
Dude, he typed it.
"Since you never listen, I'll remind you that we need an
extra-large bag of Casa Queso handmade-style flour tortillas.
If you come back here with anything else, you're fired.
Your boss, Benson."
And then there's some clip art of a bomb, and it says,
"The clock is ticking!"
"Dear Mordecai and Rigby,
go get the exact tortillas I want,
or I'm gonna get all mad.
"Dear Mordecai and Rigby, I know you love burgers,
so we're having quesadillas.
Yeah.
"Dear Mordecai and Rigby, if I don't get something
to put this cheese between right now,
you're fired."
Dude, we're actually running kind of late on getting these
tortillas back to the park.
Yeah.
Maybe we should take that new shortcut.
Good call.
And then, earlier, Benson was all like,
"Don't forget to gas up the cart before you get tortillas."
And I was just like, "Cool it, dude.
Thanks for the..."
"...heads... up"?
I see.
Dude, why didn't you just listen to Benson and gas up the cart?
Because he never says anything important?
Except that was important,
'cause now we're stuck in the middle of the woods.
Okay, this is gonna be painful, but I think we have to ask
Benson to come get us.
Guys, hey.
Benson, are you there?
Sorry.
Rigby!
I really am sorry, Mordecai.
My body just starts talking when it's hungry.
Just give me the phone.
Awesome. No service.
We're gonna have to walk the rest of the way.
I'm pretty sure if we just head towards those trees...
Okay, that didn't land us where I thought it would.
But if we can just get to the other side of that river.
All right, so I think if we can go down that hill...
Easy. Easy.
Okay, maybe if we...
Maybe if we what?
Do you even have any idea where we're going?
I've seen that Skips rock four times.
Okay, but...
Dude, just face it.
We're lost.
Yeah, we're lost.
And I'm cold and hungry.
Well, I'd say we go back to the cart for shelter,
but I don't even know where that is anymore.
What are you doing?! You can't eat those.
We have to give them to Benson.
Well, he's not getting anything if we die up here.
But maybe there's something else we can eat.
Can we eat... rocks?
I saw one show where the guy made a three-course meal
out of nothing but tree bark.
It's not that bad.
Whoa, dude.
Huh?
That's not right, man.
What show did you see that bark thing on?
It was on, um... oh!
"Crazy Eats."
The one where the guy makes himself insane by eating stuff
that's not food?
Rigby, they don't even go outside on that show.
But, Mordecai, the inside is the outside.
The inside is the outside.
Oh, man.
What happened?
I don't know, dude,
but we're not gonna survive this, are we?
Dude, it's so cold.
We're gonna freeze to death before we can get Benson
these tortillas.
If Skips was here, he'd know what to do.
Pay attention, guys.
You're gonna need to remember this stuff.
Mordecai, we need to remember what Benson said in his
wilderness presentation.
Dude, that's it!
Remember. Remember.
And that's how you survive a bear attack.
Thank you, Thomas.
Hey, Mordecai and Rigby. I need your eyes up here.
Oh, Benson.
What about when it gets chilly?
That's a great question, Pops.
Now, it may look like I'm just wearing a jacket up here.
But underneath it, I have on a sweatshirt,
followed by a long-sleeve thermal followed by a t-shirt
followed by a tank top.
It's called layering,
and it's your key to temperature regulation.
Layering!
There's nothing to make layers with.
I see some layers.
That's enough for now.
We need to save the rest for Benson.
We'd better get a move on.
"End is near.
Tell Benson we tried."
Did we make it?
No.
It wasn't supposed to end like this, Mordecai.
No, Rigby.
Don't give up.
There's got to be one last thing we can remember
from Benson's presentation.
No, Bro.
This is it.
See you on the other side.
Please, just try to remember, Rigby.
Do it for Benson.
And if all else fails, find a cellphone signal.
It may just save your life one day.
We have to find a cellphone signal!
Okay, okay.
Let me just...
It's almost out of batteries.
Then let's go!
Mordecai...
...my leg.
I can't.
Yes, you can.
This is our last chance, Rigby.
Are you gonna die like a little baby,
or are you gonna help me?
I'll help you, Mordecai!
Anything?
Run faster!
Come on, phone!
Please, please, please!
A bar, Mordecai! We have a bar!
A bar?
A bar! A bar!
A beautiful bar!
I'm so happy.
Wait. Call, dude.
Call! Okay. Shh. Shh. Shh.
I'm dialing.
It's ringing!
Hello?
I can't believe it.
You guys are still here.
After all this time?
Everything has changed so much since we've been gone.
Is this still called a pine... cone?
What year is it?
You guys have only been gone a couple hours.
We could hear you yelling on the other side of those trees,
but every time we had Thomas go check it out,
you attacked him.
These tortillas are soggy and dirty.
Oh, Benson!
You saved us!
Yeah, Benson.
We're sorry we never listen.
And you're so smart.
How did you know we were gonna forget what tortillas to get?
All right, all right!
That's enough!
I had a feeling this might happen.
Thomas, can you take the backup burgers over to the grill, please?
Backup burgers?
Wh-o-o-o-oa!
Just don't touch any of the food.
I told you to jump over the fire pit, Thomas,
not fall into it.
Happy Park-iversary!
What's a park-iversary?
Dude, park anniversary. Just break it down.
Pops is gonna give out really lame gifts, but just...
pretend like you like it, or you'll hurt his feelings.
Hey, Pops! Happy park-iversary!
I come bearing gifts.
I picked out just the right presents for all of you.
Oh, I can't wait. Open them! Open them!
Oh-oh-oh! Gag peanut brittle where the snake pops out.
Or regular peanut brittle.
Thanks, Pops.
Whoa! Novelty socks!
A mermaid statue made of shells?
Man, this is... super neat!
Thanks, Pops.
When in doubt, buy shells.
Now for Mordecai and Rigby's gifts.
I think you're really going to like these.
"Tants... dare to dine anywhere with flair in tants,
the pants that are also a table."
- These are great. - Yeah. Thanks, Pops.
Oh, wonderful!
I knew they'd be a hit.
Well, I still have gifts for Skips and Benson.
Happy park-iversary!
- Bye, Pops! - See ya, Pops.
What are we gonna do with tants?
I think you hit the jackpot this year.
Those tants are pretty fresh.
You know, I could take those tants off your hands for you...
free of charge.
Hm-hm. - Yeah. Sure. Go for it.
A wise decision, bro.
Ta-da!
Whoa. What are you wearing?
Tants! I'm wearing tants!
You must not have tried them on yet.
Ha-ha! Yeah, you got us.
You know, I didn't want to make a big deal
in front of the others,
but I put extra heart into picking out your presents.
- Really? - Oh, yes.
I wanted to use the park-iversary
as an opportunity to thank you
for being such good friends to me.
I thought we could all wear our tants
and have lunch together.
Uh... we... uh,
kind of don't have the tants anymore.
We gave the tants...
We gave them to the dry-cleaners!
Uh, yeah, yeah! We took them...
to the dry-cleaners to make sure they'd be clean
the first time we try them on.
Oh! Good show!
Then let's do lunch tomorrow when you pick up your tants.
- Yeah. For sure. - Tants tomorrow. You got it.
Splendid!
Oh!
Dude, did you see his face?!
Yeah, we can't make Pops cry.
Those tants are really bad,
but hurting Pops' feelings is worse.
Come on. We got to see Muscle Man about those tants.
Yes?
We really need those tants back.
Hmm.
Yeah, okay.
Me and Starla are done with them anyway.
Aah! What the...
Gross! What did you do?!
All I did was use them for a pizza dinner...
with Starla.
Blah! Did you even eat any of it?
There's like a whole slice in the pant leg!
You don't need to get all worked up about it!
Just wash them. They'll be fine.
More up.
Wait. Let me switch my grip.
All right. Now turn the tants to the right.
No, my right. - It's not fitting.
Because you need to turn the tants.
I am turning it! You just have to push it more!
It's not gonna work like that. The tants won't fit.
Why do you keep saying tants so much?
- Just turn them. - Just shove them in!
Aah! You're breaking them! Take them out!
- What was that? - Dude, look out!
Maybe we can still fix it.
There's nothing left to fix.
We're gonna have to buy new tants.
There it is! Click it! Click it!
- All right. Let's see. - Which one is it?
Uh, this one.
$200?!
The ergonomic cupholder makes it "limited edition"?
I can't believe Pops spent so much money on us!
We're not limited-edition friends.
We're just standard-issue jerks.
We're gonna have to tell Pops.
Mordecai! Rigby!
I've been looking all over for you!
I've been so excited about tomorrow!
Anyway, I forgot to ask which beverage you'd like...
lemonade or pink lemonade?
Uh...
Oh, what am I saying? I'll get both!
Let's go wild!
It is our first tants lunch together.
I "tant" wait for it.
Tants lunch! Tants lunch! Tants lunch!
We can't tell Pops.
What are we gonna do?! - Just let me think.
It's just pants and a table.
Maybe we could just make some tants.
Make them? How?
Remember that one time Benson made park uniforms for everyone?
Oh, the ones we only wore once?
Yeah, those.
Anyway, if we use that sewing machine,
we can make new tants. - Oh, yeah.
- Where was that thing again? - The basement?
Yeah. The basement.
Dude, I don't know how to use this thing.
Well, neither do I.
What are we gonna do?
Eileen!
Wow! A diamond crown stitch horse
5,000 double diamond series!
You know they stopped making these in '75.
It's the last of its series
to have a solid-steel throat plate.
So does that mean you can do it?
With a workhorse like this, I think I can manage.
But if we're gonna get these tants done by tomorrow,
- you guys will need to help. Hm-hm!
♪ ♪
Whoa! Eileen, they look great!
They really do, don't they?
Awesome! Now we just have to add the logos
to make them look legit.
Are you sure about ripping off the logo?
This warning seems pretty specific.
But if we don't use the real logo,
Pops will know they're different tants.
We have to take it for Pops' lunch.
Huh?! Aah!
- Cease and desist! - Who are you?!
Hmm. Only the acting presi-tant and founder of Tantsco,
maker of tants!
I'm here to investigate a grave violation
of Tantsco company rules!
Tampering or removal of the official Tantsco logo
is forbidden by law... of my company...
and is punishable... by my company.
Uh, sir, you better take a look at this.
Do you know how many Tantsco laws you're violating
with these off-brand tants?
- I don't know. - Um... - A couple?
Well, it's at least 17... easily!
The Tantsco company and its subsequent products
are my family's bread and butter.
Heck, those products are family to me.
It's like you're walking into my home
and taking the food right out of my wife's mouth!
Well, I can't let this continue!
Today it's bootleg tants, but what will it be tomorrow...
bootleg glups?!
You know, the gloves that are also a coffee cup.
Or maybe you want to make sombrasses...
the sombrero that's also glasses.
- Ugh! - Or what about shilts...
the shoes that are also stilts?!
Are you gonna bootleg these?!
Whoa! Whoa!
It's okay. He's still got pants on.
If these faux tants exist, it'll open the floodgates
to all kinds of bootleg Tantsco products.
And I'm not about to let that happen to my company!
I'm destroying these impostors.
- No! - You can't!
Aah!
- In your face!
You know brand-name Tantsco tants are fireproof.
Did you make yours fireproof?
- Don't do it! - No!
Hmm. Before I torch these impostors,
just tell me one thing...
why on this good green earth
would you make fake tants?!
- Because we had to! - Ha!
Liar, liar, tants on fire!
There is no good reason to bootleg tants!
Pops. Pops is a good reason.
He bought us real tants from your company.
He just wanted to have one lunch with us in tants,
but we didn't appreciate Pops or his gifts,
and they got ruined.
We were just trying to fix things.
And Eileen worked really hard to help us!
I'm sorry we ripped the label off,
and I'm sorry we made fake tants,
but we couldn't let Pops down
and still call ourselves his friends.
But that is the reason
I consider you my best friends.
Pops!
I heard everything.
Pops, we're so sorry!
No! I won't hear it!
The lengths that you went for my sake
mean more than any lunch in tants.
That is true friendship.
Thanks, Pops.
Tie-kerchief... the tie that's also a handkerchief.
I've never seen such a touching display of friendship
in all my life.
This is why I started Tantsco... for the people.
It's more beautiful than any product my company can make.
Does this mean we can have our tants back?
No!
- No! - My work!
Real friends deserve real tants.
Tants all around!
- Nice! - Ah! Sweet!
I don't even know what's real and what's not.
You know, Pops, these tants are pretty choice.
Yes, isn't the fabric nice and breathable?
Yeah! Totally!
Check it out...
The Tantsco president gave us this prototype frelt.
It even came with these four-legged, acid-washed jeans.
It's okay if you're jealous.
Tants are pretty last season.
Pops, I know we're friends,
but please don't ever buy us frelts.
Oh, I'd never do that.
Those look ridiculous.